Last night, as I was flying back to Portland in a crowded plane next to a couple and their dogs for five hours, my mind drifted and I came to a few realizations. First I realized that I really don't want to go back and live in Portland because I'm not all that happy there, but that I don't belong in Norfolk so I wouldn't be happy there either. I feel uncomfortable, awkward, and frustrated in both environments. Second, I finally came to the conclusion that I am not comfortable and happy in my skin and that now is the time to quit "saying" that I'm going to do something about it and actually do it. A lot of my friends are inspiring me, but the one that has had the most affect has been Corinne. Looking at her, you really wouldn't peg her as a marathon runner; but after watching her run (albeit slowly but consistently) the Rock N' Roll Half Marathon, I knew that the only loser in this scenario was me because she was out there reaching her goals while I was just sitting around feeling sorry for myself. F that.
So, now is the time to stop envying and to start doing!
First thing is to buy a new water bottle (I keep losing them) because drinking water throughout the day helps not only in maintaining weight, but helps your mind and body.
Second, no more coffee. WWHHHAAATTT???? *screams in agony* Sorry, Charlie, but your daily thermos of sugar with coffee and cream has gots to go. Granted, this may take some weening as opposed to cold turkey, but it has to be done. Starting the day off with half a cup of sugar and half a cup of creamer with some coffee splashed in is not the way to start your day. *pout*
Next is exercise. This is where I get tripped up because I hate to exercise. I hate running, biking is better here than in the average city but it's still dangerous (plus the whole rain factor), I've lost my passion for skating, and there's no way I'm joining an overpriced expensive gym just to do some agonizing microcrusches or stupid shit like that. Booooring. I need to find a sport that can accommodate my skool schedule, is free/cheap, and will keep me interested. I'm thinking either kickboxing or... I don't know. Any suggestions?
Diet. Here's the really tough part. *Excuse time: I'm poor, I'm single, too busy to cook, don't know what to buy, everything I buy becomes overripe/expired by the time I get to it, and I don't know how to cook.* I definitely need help in this department; like a place where I can go that will give me daily menus that I can make.
I'm also going to keep a food diary and find a place where I can log all of the stuff that goes in my mouth (keep it outta the gutter!). Also, I'm going to hold myself accountable. If I fuck up, I'll let my peers determine my punishment.
Look, none of my clothes fit, I hate shopping because they never have anything in my size, and as cool as my personality is, let's face it: guys don't like fat girls. This city is full of skinny girls with "nicer" personalities and, I'm not saying that I wanna be those girls, I just want more leverage in the competition. I see the fat accumulating on my arms and leg, I can barely even cross my legs, and there's a shelf forming under my boobs (let's not even talk about what's going on behind me) - it's time for a change.
No comments:
Post a Comment